It wasn’t long ago that I received the ultimate gift. I was given direction; advice on how to proceed with this desire to write. It came through a book by Julia Cameron called “The Artist’s Way – A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity“. In it, she suggested tools for unlocking creativity. The number one tool, for me, has become “Morning Pages”.
Every morning, without fail, I write. Three pages. Long hand. So far, I’ve filled four notebooks. More importantly, though, I found an inner voice; one that I just let loose to write as it wishes. In the beginning, I have to admit, I spent a good amount of ink on simply writing “What in the world am I going to write about this morning that will fill three pages?” Then, that turned to spewing accusatory words towards a poor deceased parent or an ex-husband. But then, there were times, especially about half way through those pages where I would have an insight; a story idea, an answer to a problem! Forcing myself to write every morning has become more than writing. That inner voice has become a friend. I look to it, now, as a place of retreat. I can be angry or sad, nervous or bored. No one is there to care. I trust it. It helps me sort through my life.
The author, initially, suggested not going back to reread what was written but after a period of several weeks, she encouraged it. I went back with highlighter pens. I highlighted (in red) the sentences that were negative towards me or towards people I blamed for my weaknesses. I, then, went back again and highlighted (in blue) the sentences or phrases that were positive affirmations; words that prompted me to move forward, let go, allow the flow of life to happen. What I saw was amazing. In the early days of Morning Pages, I found pages of “Red”! I saw how angry and blaming my words were. As I turned from page to page, the “Red” changed to “Blue”; first just a small streak here and there, then a paragraph, then a page! The author referred to this as “Finding The River”.
The shift to spiritual dependency is a gradual one. We have been making this shift slowly and surely. With each day we become more true to ourselves, more open to the positive...We find we are able to tell more of our truth, hear more of other people's truth, and encompass a far more kindly attitude toward both. We are becoming less judgmental of ourselves and others. How is this possible? The morning pages, a flow of stream of consciousness, gradually loosens our hold on fixed opinions and short-sighted views. We see that our moods, views, and insights are transitory...This current, or river, is a flow of grace moving us to our right livelihood, companions,destiny.
Morning pages has helped me “find my river.”I am, now, on a journey to share more of my “Blue” with the world. My goal, now, is to find something, once a week, from my Morning Pages, to share openly. It may not always be completely “Blue” but I’m curious about how it will flow. Wish me luck!