Stay In The Light

Time To Set A New Goal

Every year around my birthday, I think about setting new goals.  Today, I am reflecting on my goals for the next year. I believe in positive energy. I believe that no matter how dark the world seems to be around us, we can bring our own light.  So here’s today’s positive light:

Share Your Light

When I start a new phase in my life (turning 69 is new to me), I like to get a vision of sorts for where I’m at and where I’m going.  So, I turn to my Earth Magic cards developed by Steven D. Farmer.  I keep it simple; just shuffle them up a bit and pick out three cards that I’m drawn to.  The first will represent my past, the second my present, and the third my future.

My Past

The question posed is “What is your passion?”

My passion has been to write, to share the words and thoughts that spring into my brain; some silly, some serious, some reflective.  In the past, I have been more focused on this passion.  Lately, I have let it lapse.

My Present

Be vigilent.

It says, “Open up your mind and senses to information as it is presented to you…follow gut feelings that tell you to be wary about someone or something; pay close attention to an important opportunity that presents itself, one that may enhance your life or the lives of others.”

I am presently in a place of mixed emotions and scattered focus.

• I bought a house about a year and a half ago and it brings me joy every day but also stress because things need repair.  I have to stay vigilant about the costs, my budget, and the urgency of the repair.
• I take care of two grandchildren, three days a week.  I love this time with them but I am also struggling to make sure I maintain a healthy balance for myself.
• One or two days a week, I drive to visit a loved one who is in hospice care.  He is not much older than me and this realization brings all of my life and my choices into clear focus.  There but for the grace of God!

And so, I work to stay vigilant.

My Future

Let it flow.

“When you simply pay attention and observe the flow, it becomes easier to navigate your experiences and see what lies ahead, or at least get a sense of what is to come by the ever-changing geography that unfolds as you cruise along.”

What Did I Learn?

I have had a passion to share my thoughts in a positive, meaningful way.  I need to stay vigilant and just let the words flow.

Here’s the Light I Share With You

Remember your passions.  Be vigilant about them.  Open yourself up to the flow.

And then I ‘m going to say this one last thing.  Dark thoughts bring dark energy.  Stay in the light.

Finding Light

Find the light!

Stay in the light.

Share the light.

Listen. Hear. Believe

I enjoy trying new things.  Chipmunk reminds me that adventure is fun; actually even good for me.  No matter what, when I watch Chipmunk appear and then disappear in and out of spaces, all I can do is smile.  Chipmunk just makes me happy.

S.M.I.L.E – Simple Messages In Life’s Eye

This blog was started to share positive messages; to find something positive on even the darkest days.

For a good part of my life, I had felt, somehow pulled off track.  There had been way too many rainy days; grey cloudy skies.  I had nearly forgotten how to SMILE.

As we struggle to make sense of life events, our mind races with thoughts about how we’ve been unjustly treated, burdened, neglected. So many times, I have asked God for answers but never really waited to hear.  As a child, I was taught to pray but not to expect an answer. God is busy. And so, I learned to not ask God for help. I gave up on praying.  I quit going to church.

Listen!

One day, when I felt heavily burdened, I couldn’t pray, I wouldn’t go to church,  instead, I went for a walk.  I walked and let my brain race with noise! Then, for some reason, on this day,  something caught my eye. Why did this catch my eye?  For a moment, the noise stopped.  I just sat and stared at the beauty.

 

I was looking at one brilliant lily.  I stared at it for a long time, just thinking how simple and beautiful it was.

I lifted my camera to capture it for future contemplation.  As I was trying to frame it, just so, in my camera, I became aware of all the “clutter” around it: crowds of lily pads, excess pond growth, fallen branches, even some human litter.  But, I didn’t want that in the frame of my camera.  That was… noise.  It ruined my reverie.

The beauty of a camera is that you can frame your photo;  zoom in on what you want to be in your frame. Then, later, crop it even more.  And so… I did.

Hear

It was then that I started to hear positive thoughts.

A lily perseveres.  

A lily keeps reaching for the light.

I heard it.  I actually heard it!  A lily doesn’t give up, doesn’t get distracted by the noise and clutter around it.  It just keeps reaching, on its own, reaching up to the light.

Believe

I felt myself sit up straighter, bolder.  Whatever it was that I had as a burden, on that day, seemed to now have a answer.  Persevere!  Keep reaching for the light!  I believed that I could do that.  I believed that I was as strong and capable as a lily…maybe not as beautiful…but YES, maybe as beautiful.

At that moment, I understood that God does answer prayers, even when you don’t think you’re asking, God hears.  Answers are all around me.  They’ve always been there.  I just needed to take the time to notice.

Listen…  Hear…  Believe!

And that is when S.M.I.L.E – Simple Messages In Life’s Eye was born.

Searching for a S.M.I.L.E

Keeping it Simple

The holidays have passed.  Bills are coming in.  Taxes need to be filed. And my Facebook feed is full of angst.  So how do I find a S.M.I.L.E.?

I find it in nature, in God’s creations, in those things that are here despite the weather, despite the political rancor, despite the negative balance in my checkbook.

One day, I had some apples that were going soft.  I didn’t want to eat them. Too old for me but not too old for this squirrel.  This little guy was thrilled to have them.

It just goes to show you that whatever you believe to be bad may be just exactly what someone else wants.  It’s crazy, I know.  But it’s for sure a simple message in life’s eye.

Time To Fall Up!

S.M.I.L.E - Simple Messages In Life's Eye

I wrote this post a year ago.  It still sits on a sidebar on my computer.  For some reason, I opened it today to reread it and I think that this was more than just a coincidence.  Over our lifetime, there are moments that demand more of us; more than we think we have in us.  Moments can be overwhelming, but then I reread this.  It was that dream that made me feel empowered.  It was also the timing of reading Dr. Dyer’s “I Can See Clearly Now” that made me think about things differently.  So, here this is again…one more time…to help me believe.

I’m crying and afraid that “the giver” won’t come back. But “the giver” always comes back, this time bringing a message in a manila envelope. And “the giver” says, “Don’t worry. This will help you “fall up.”

What does that mean, “fall up”? You can fall down. You…

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Winter Daze

Hazing Days of Winter

Depressing grey hovers over shortened winter days.  It’s hard to find beauty in this weather.  But, it’s still possible.  Look what I found.

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There is beauty in simple things.  S.M.I.L.E. even during winter daze!

The Christmas Letter

Once a year, I do it. Once a year, I collect my thoughts about how my year has gone and I summarize it the best I can into a Christmas newsletter.

I know, I know! There are so many thoughts about “The Christmas Letter” that you get from others each year. Some are braggadocios: sharing every possible wonderful trip that was taken, how smart and successful their kids are, and how they just moved to a bigger, grander house. Others drone on and on about little things like how well their garden grew last summer. One year, I got a letter from my aunt. She listed every illness, broken bone, surgery, and sadness her family had experienced over the past year and then she ended it with “Merry Christmas”. I couldn’t help it. I laughed!

So, why do I do it? Why do I spend time writing this letter that may be taken as bragging, dull, or sadly funny? I write the letter because it’s my way of holding on to the people. It’s a fine little thread that keeps my past connected with my present. They are part of my life’s tapestry. I can’t maintain daily connections with everyone who has been part of my life but still, they are an important part that I don’t want to have disappear. When I send a letter, they send something back; a card, a note, a picture. And I smile, and think, “See, they’re still connected to me.”

And, it’s a once a year ritual that forces me to stop and give thanks for all the joy that filled my year. The newsletter is two-sided which might make you gasp in horror but it’s made up of individual little stories (short and to the point) and then a picture here and there to show how we have changed over the year. Do I share the sadness? Sure, sometimes, but I try to also share the positive that has come from that sadness because no one needs to add my burdens on to their’s.

In the end, I send out 40 letters. Yesterday, I got two cards back. One was from a man who, along with his wife, used to take care of my kids when they were babies. His wife and one son have now passed away but he sent a card with a picture of him smiling and a note; shaky handwriting shared news of his other daughter and son and their families. A thread, keeping us connected. The other card came from a former co-worker. She said “I was waiting for your letter. I’d heard that you moved.” Then she, too, hand wrote an update of her families year. A thread.

I had one card, in my Christmas folder, that I had saved from last year. She had written inside, “Call me. Let’s get together some time this year.” She had written that same note in past years. I had always kept the card, thinking “This year, I’ll call her.” It never came to be. I’d write a note on the bottom of my letter saying “Maybe this year.” Well, this year, I looked at last year’s card and I kept one letter aside to write that same apology on the bottom once again. But when I got to her letter, I had run out of stamps. I took this as a sign. It was time to call her! So I said, “I think I’m supposed to deliver my Christmas card to you in person this year.” We’re going to lunch next Wednesday. We were neighbors, long ago, when our kids were young. I haven’t seen them for maybe twenty years.

My Christmas letter has been my thread; a simple little thread that holds my tapestry together.

My River, Your River

"You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows...and a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes..." Garth Brooks (1992).

It’s happening again.  I wrote about this a while back in another blog.  I’m being told to get up off that shoreline.

And I was so happy sitting on this shoreline.  I really liked the view, the gentle flow of days.  This part of my journey has truly been a dream…but it didn’t start that way!  I need to remember that it was a nightmare that initially threw me up on this shore.  Now, looking back on it…now, I can see the beauty.  I understand the reason for this stop.

It’s Time To Believe Again

When something rocks you out of your peaceful bliss, your initial reaction is to resist.

Let me be…I like it here!

But life is truly a journey.  Sitting, forever, on the shoreline, watching other boats go by is not a life. And so it begins again…but this time it’s different.  I’m sitting peacefully on this beautiful shoreline only to realize that it’s not my river alone.  There are others who are on a journey as well.  And my boat is in their way.  I have to move it so they can continue on their way.

My daughter and son-in-law and my beautiful grandson will “choose to chance the rapids” in a month or so.

My Initial Reaction Was… Selfish

“I thought you liked this shoreline! I can’t believe you would just pack up and go.”  

“Well, come with us, if you want.”

“No, this is your journey.  You deserve your own adventures.  Know there’ll be rough waters.  Know you’ll take some falls.  But let the good lord be your captain.  He’ll see you through it all.  Sail your vessel, till the river runs dry.  Like the bird upon the wing, let these waters be your sky.  You’ll never reach your destination, if you never try so sail your vessel till the river runs day.”

Yes, this means it’s time for me to put my boat back into the water too. This shoreline will not be as beautiful without them here.  Now though, I’ve learned to be cautious of rough waters and rapids.  Still, while I might prefer calmer waters, I will keep sailing. But, now I’ll wear a lifejacket to protect my heart.

http://jpesch1.hubpages.com/hub/Ill-Never-Reach-My-Destination-If-I-Never-Try

Morning Pages – Finding My River

It wasn’t long ago that I received the ultimate gift.  I was given direction; advice on how to proceed with this desire to write.  It came through a book by Julia Cameron called “The Artist’s Way – A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity“.  In it, she suggested tools for unlocking creativity.  The number one tool, for me, has become “Morning Pages”.

Every morning, without fail, I write.  Three pages.  Long hand.  So far, I’ve filled four notebooks.  More importantly, though, I found an inner voice; one that I just let loose to write as it wishes.  In the beginning, I have to admit, I spent a good amount of ink on simply writing “What in the world am I going to write about this morning that will fill three pages?”  Then, that turned to spewing accusatory words towards a poor deceased parent or an ex-husband.  But then, there were times, especially about half way through those pages where I would have an insight; a story idea, an answer to a problem!  Forcing myself to write every morning has become more than writing.  That inner voice has become a friend.  I look to it, now, as a place of retreat.  I can be angry or sad, nervous or bored.  No one is there to care.  I trust it.  It helps me sort through my life.

The author, initially, suggested not going back to reread what was written but after a period of several weeks, she encouraged it.  I went back with highlighter pens.  I highlighted (in red) the sentences that were negative towards me or towards people I blamed for my weaknesses.  I, then, went back again and highlighted (in blue) the sentences or phrases that were positive affirmations; words that prompted me to move forward, let go, allow the flow of life to happen.  What I saw was amazing.  In the early days of Morning Pages, I found pages of “Red”!  I saw how angry and blaming my words were.  As I turned from page to page, the “Red” changed to “Blue”; first just a small streak here and there, then a paragraph, then a page!  The author referred to this as “Finding The River”.

She said:

The shift to spiritual dependency is a gradual one.  We have been making this shift slowly and surely.  With each day we become more true to ourselves, more open to the positive...We find we are able to tell more of our truth, hear more of other people's truth, and encompass a far more kindly attitude toward both.  We are becoming less judgmental of ourselves and others.  How is this possible?  The morning pages, a flow of stream of consciousness, gradually loosens our hold on fixed opinions and short-sighted views. We see that our moods, views, and insights are transitory...This current, or river, is a flow of grace moving us to our right livelihood, companions,destiny.

Morning pages has helped me “find my river.”I am, now, on a journey to share more of my “Blue” with the world.  My goal, now, is to find something, once a week, from my Morning Pages, to share openly.  It may not always be completely “Blue” but I’m curious about how it will flow.  Wish me luck!

Did I Choose That Path or Did That Path Choose Me?I

I wrote this for another blog I’ve started but it fits on this blog as well.

Begin Again

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Happy Wanderer.”

My life has been the ultimate journey.  I’ve heard it said that your life is a series of choices.

But really:

Do you actually get to plan your trip?

Do you really get to lead your life your way or …

Do you simply follow paths that are laid out for you?

I Was Not A Planner

I remember realizing, during my junior year of high school, that my friends had plans to go to college.  What?  I hadn’t even given it a thought!  Good god!  I visited the guidance counselor for the first time, about then, saying something like “HELP!  Should I be going to college?”  Good grief.  Two years later, I was in college and started out in the Business School.  Why?  Because, I don’t know.  It sounded like a good idea, and I had to start somewhere…

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